News alert. I've committed to dancing for 100 days straight and documenting it on social media (insert scared face emoji). It's day 6 and I'm feeling overwhelmed by the thought of 94 days left. It's been harder than I thought to dance every day and document it. In fact I was almost about to bail last night. It was a busy day and I didn't have time to think about dancing until 10pm. And then a mini melt down happened. I think some of it may have had to do with the fact that I was HANGRY and hadn't eaten dinner, but it was also because I was feeling insecure. Some of the thoughts running through my head were: "What the heck was I doing? Why did I commit to this? It's too vulnerable to dance in front of a camera every day. I'm out of song ideas. These videos are stupid. I don't like the way I look. I can't really dance."....ON, AND ON, AND ON. Basically I was being little brat about the whole thing. Bless my poor husband who had to witness that and feed me.
As with any childlike tantrum, it was over in 5 minutes. I had my moment and moved on. I realized that this is exactly what is suppose to be happening. This project is supposed to force me to get creative. Not every day was going to be easy and the fact that I was already getting bored with the structure I started with (me, camera, guest bedroom) was a good thing. I need to allow things to get weird and messy and weird again. I need to push passed the desire to present an easily digestible image because yeah, that's boring, that's contrived and that defeats the point of it all. So get over it! And stop redoing the video over and over - ain't nobody got time for that! I do believe that if I just let go even more I'll allow space for the unexpected/unimagineable to occur. I know the more I control the further from me inspiration gets.
So here's to the next 94 days! May I make small actions each day to show up honestly, raw, unfiltered and barefoot. I'll leave you with this video outtake in color. Consider it my step for the day :)