Letting people in

I've been feeling a little stuck.  I have so many ideas but am having trouble completing them. So the other day I attempted an action plan. (I know you're suppose to allow some flexibility in the creative process but we need to get going here. Once a PM, always a PM!) But an interesting realization occurred when I was listing out all of the projects I wanted to execute.  Right in front of me was the missing piece. The single ingredient that would make all of this real for me. Can you figure out what it is?

1. Find musicians to record the new song I wrote

2. Complete the piece of choreography I've been concepting, get dancers involved and submit it for the Choreographers Showcase in the Fall

3. Commit a date to workshop the movement class I've been thinking about and get feedback

What I realized is that all of this requires other people. I'm feeling stuck because I've come to the point where I just can't do it on my own. In order to actually accomplish these things I need to connect, collaborate, reach out to people. I thought I was doing a good job at going out and being social but the true test is really letting people in, letting people help and add to the process.

This has always been a weakness of mine.  I don't like to let people see me in the process of doing anything. I like showing finished products. I like having the plan or the answer. I like filling the awkward silence. You get me? But I also know that I do this for fear of rejection. I try and minimize the amount of negative feedback as much as possible by trying to be as buttoned up as possible (beginning to hate this phrase) and this applies to all aspects of my life. I noticed this pattern the most when I was working in the corporate world and it was crippling, but I didn't quite see how it spilled over to my creative life until now. Then again, this website was only shared with about 300 people so there you go...#controlfreak.

As I'm writing this I'm actually starting to feel overwhelmed by the idea of bringing people along on this journey and allowing them to see the unrehearsed side of me. I also get how important it is because I may not have ability to explore like this again. Hold me accountable friends. 

C